Dogs need exercise!

Cockers are my ultimate fave dogs. An interview with Derek the cocker here would probably go along these lines...

Me: So, Derek, what is your favourite hobby?
Derek: Running. Chasing things. Running some more.
Me: How do you feel about public transport?
Derek: I love watching buses. I think bus-spotting is cool, I don't care what the other dogs say.Me: Who are your friends at the Rescue?
Derek: I really need my own dog space, but Fergus the schnauser comes up to my kennel for a chat. He's O.K.
Me: Why are you at the Rescue?
Derek: My owners didn't understand my needs. Lady, I NEED to run! They don't understand that dogs are great for getting owners in shape.
Me: Thanks Derek!
Derek: No probs. And hey! I saw you scoffing those instant noodles earlier; let me help you burn them off!

DREADLOCK DOGGEH

This dog has dreadlocks. Is he a Bob Marley fan? Not that I know of. What I do know is that he is too scared of humans to let us near him to cut those wild locks. For shame on the people who traumatised him to be like that. I bet they have really bad high school-yearbook-worthy-cringiness hair to match their scug characters. At least grosvenor can pull off dreadlocks.

Dogs remind us all of the importance of a good stretch

Brave Bonzo and Equitable Eccles have a lot in common.
1. They are about the same size.
2. They both have big floppy ears.
3. They were both abandoned :(
4. They both remind us of the importance of a good stretch! They do this so they are then completely ready to use their legs to patter over to Rescue volunteers and get walkies / cuddles / treats / adoration :)

Dogs are INVENTIVE!

Here's Kira proving how INVENTIVE dogs can be.
Here she demonstrates an alternative way to utilise a plastic chair.
Why sit ON it when you can LIE UNDER it and pretend to have your own CAMPING DEN? All Kira needs now is some blankets, a saucepan and some matches and she is ready for a camping adventure.*

*She will probably need an adult to help with lighting the camp fire though, as neither dogs nor children should play with matches. (Or people who have had more than four pints of beer.)

Dogs make you LOOK CLEAN!

This dog helps me LOOK GOOD. Here he is inspecting my leg, which, incidently, is smeared with cream cheese from dispensing meds. He looks, he inspects closer, then he carefully licks it all off, and voila! I LOOK CLEAN. The fact that I stink of dog is neither here nor there. His job is done.

Many dogs come to the Rescue badly neglected but here is a shining example of dogs not holding grudges. I hope the laundry bills of this dog's ex-owners are extortionate and their washing comes back two sizes too small and myseriously covered in indelible blue ink.

Dogs know how to STAND OUT in a crowd

How many Rescue dogs are in this picture?
a) twelfty
b) 3
c) lots

Yes, that's right, the correct answer is 'lots'. But notice how 'pirate' black and tan Bart manages to make himself STAND OUT in the crowd of doggies? Dogs have PRESENCE!

I bet the people who abandoned his parents (featured before) couldn't stand out even if they were wearing jump suits made of real gold and singing German opera through megaphones.

Plastic surgery for pets = lobotomies for stupid owners

These schnausers came together and were scared stiff when they arrived, but it is better than where they were before - kept in cages all the time - that is, when their owners weren't taking the male one to get plastic surgery to make him 'look better' in his cage. I'd like to get their pernicious previous owners into surgery. Two lobotomies coming right up! The dogs are perfect, it is the owners who should be stuck in cages and see how they like it. Yeah, cages suspended over a pit of boiling acid, gently lowered one inch per hour...

Dogs have ATTITUDE!

This is a dog with ATTITUDE. See how he strolls off, refusing to have his photograph taken by a mere human underling?

The people who abandoned him probably couldn't get over the inferiority complexes they must have developed living with this cool dog.

And yet I feel NO PITY for them.

Dogs do IMPRESSIONS!

This dog is doing an impression of a wet dishcloth!
During his bath, Bumpy decided to wow us with his impressions. Meanwhile, Arfur (featured yesterday) was hiding under his white towel and moving around in a spooky way, keen to wow us with his impression of a ghost! Thanks guys!

Dogs are LOYAL 2

Here's another image of King John, described by historians as 'slippery' and 'untrustworthy' with his dog. See that medieval mutt frolicking merrily with his evil master? Even the puppy behind him looks happy. Further proof that dogs love UNCONDITIONALLY.

Puggy Pug Pugs!

A lot of pugs get abandoned, usually because the owners have either let them get so fat* that they cut off the blood circulation when you hold them on your lap, or because they have medical problems that the MALODOROUS OWNERS can't be bothered to get treated. This chap just needs eyedrops AND SOME LOVIN'. Look at this pug's gorgeous brown baubly eyes! Check out the tiny whiskers and squishy nose! This soft wrinkly-headed chap could melt the coldest of hearts, but apparently his last owner's heart was made of STONE.

* From being over-fed and under-walked.

OWNERS who import HUSKIES to TROPICAL COUNTRIES are CLINCIALLY INSANE

ARE YOU CLINICALLY INSANE? NOT SURE?
Then take the HUSKY TEST!

1. Do you think that it is appropriate to import large dogs with thick fur and who need lots of exercise to tropical countries because 'hey, why not, they look good'?

a) No b) Yes

If you answer was a) No, - congratulations! You are not mad.

If you are answer was b) Yes, - I urge you to seek urgent medical attention of the psychiatric variety.

We have three huskies at the kennels right now. The people who imported them NEED HELP.

In Soviet Russia, DOG OWNS YOU!

This is a partital pic of me holding the VERY dog (featured yesterday) who bit me the VERY day before this picture was taken. You have to respect how this VERY CRAFTY mutt insinuated herself into my arms. In Hong Kong, as in Soviet Russia, DOG OWNS YOU!
Crafty dog: 1.
Me/humans in general: 0.

Dogs teach TOLERANCE

This is Fatty. He is the first dog I got to know at the Rescue. He also taught me ACCEPTANCE and TOLERANCE. Notice he is a 'ging-er'. He was a fluffy, sweet, gentle soul. I used to mock all ging-ers, with their carrot like hair / ridiculous-coloured fur. But now I have learnt that ging-ers may just have feelings too. THANK YOU FATTY R.I.P.

The CALLOUS CURS who abandoned LOVELY FATTY because he was old and sick should be staked out in honey and left for fire ants. Fireants = Natures little ginger ninjas.

Disclaimer: It is still open season on Welsh ging-ers.

A MAGNIFICENT beast

This is Taffy. He is MAGNIFICENT because he has orange fur yet can carry off a red bandana. He would look great in a plastic bag bandana! The MANIACS who dumped Taffy should be exposed to ridicule and shame on some frivolous reality show.

Top 5 true RUBBISH reasons given for abandoning a dog

These are reasons I have come across in the past few months alone for people dumping LOVELY DOGGEHS:

1. "We didn't know dogs need taking for walks. It is inconvenient." (MORON ALERT!!!)
2. "It grew." (MORON'S CLONE)
3. "We don't need it any more." (SELFISH SCUMBAGS and what on earth did they mean by 'need'?????)
4. "I don't really want it anymore. Anyway, it should be glad we gave it 5 months of a loving home." (O.K., that was said about a cat but the point remains - animals are NEVER glad to have had time in your home if you then DUMP them into a new bewildering environment. In fact, they are less likely to be adopted by someone else as they are either over the uber-cute puppy / kitten stage so less desirable, or so MESSED UP by being abandoned that they have abandonment anxiety disorder, AKA M.O.A.N. disorder - My Owners Are Numbskulls. FOOL!)
5. "It barks." (Yes, FOOL 2, it is a dog, that's what they do if they are left alone all day in a tiny HK apartment with nothing to do. DUH.)