Thursday, July 31, 2008


Then take the HUSKY TEST!

1. Do you think that it is appropriate to import large dogs with thick fur and who need lots of exercise to tropical countries because 'hey, why not, they look good'?

a) No b) Yes

If you answer was a) No, - congratulations! You are not mad.

If you are answer was b) Yes, - I urge you to seek urgent medical attention of the psychiatric variety.

We have three huskies at the kennels right now. The people who imported them NEED HELP.

In Soviet Russia, DOG OWNS YOU!

This is a partital pic of me holding the VERY dog (featured yesterday) who bit me the VERY day before this picture was taken. You have to respect how this VERY CRAFTY mutt insinuated herself into my arms. In Hong Kong, as in Soviet Russia, DOG OWNS YOU!
Crafty dog: 1.
Me/humans in general: 0.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

100% FACT!

PUPPY FACT 1: It is impossible to be angry while saying the word 'PUPPEH'.
PUPPY FACT 2: It is possible to physically MELT on exposure to very cute puppehs.
PUPPY FACT 3: People who RUTHLESSLY abandon cute puppehs are officially on the Dark Side of the Force and one day some young robe-wearing light-sabre wielding jedi will TAKE THEM OUT.

Dogs are SMART

This is Zip. He would make an AWESOME guard dog. Look how ALERT he is! He barks at strangers but he licks his female friends and likes to climb them and get up by their shoulder - like a parrot. But, unlike some bird daft enough to get caught by an illiterate smelly pirate, Zip is SMART. He is posing here whilst guarding the TREAT BOX.
Zip 1.
Parrots 0.
Zip's Previous Owners -1.

Dogs can do CUTE POSES

This is Arfur. He is a tiny min-pin who was dumped for having skin which has been neglected so CRIMINALLY long that he has grey, leathery patches and chronic dandruff. AND YET he is also still capable of doing CUTE POSES. How many humans do you know who can pose like that whilst sporting a mane of dandruff? ZERO, I'm guessing. Arfur is responding well to medicated baths after which he likes to frolic with the towel. He licks my hand with his pink micro-tongue. He is therefore CUTE. His HEARTLESS former owners are not cute at all.

Dogs teach TOLERANCE

This is Fatty. He is the first dog I got to know at the Rescue. He also taught me ACCEPTANCE and TOLERANCE. Notice he is a 'ging-er'. He was a fluffy, sweet, gentle soul. I used to mock all ging-ers, with their carrot like hair / ridiculous-coloured fur. But now I have learnt that ging-ers may just have feelings too. THANK YOU FATTY R.I.P.

The CALLOUS CURS who abandoned LOVELY FATTY because he was old and sick should be staked out in honey and left for fire ants. Fireants = Natures little ginger ninjas.

Disclaimer: It is still open season on Welsh ging-ers.

It is CRUEL to name your dog Princess Coochy Poo

Why do INTELLECTUALLY CHALLENGED people give their dogs such DIRE names? I mean WHY?

I have honestly heard mentioned and/or met: Pinky Chick, Rainbow, Milk, Belly, Amus, Potato and Dark Soul for HUMANS in Hong Kong and China. So it should not really surprise me that the dogs get named as badly.
ACCEPTABLE names for dogs: Rover, Spike, Lassie, Patch and Kevin (all right, that last one is debatable).
NON-ACCEPTABLE names: Mao (which means 'cat' in Cantonese - are you ACTIVELY TRYING to cause your animal to have a SPECIES IDENTITY CRISIS?), Fifi (try not blushing over that one while calling your dog to you - the SHAME), Pickle (dogs are not food in Hong Kong - don't give your dogs names which make them sound edible. You may confuse tourists.) and Winkie (no wait, that was a human I met, but still WRONG for a dog anyway.)
This blogger understands:
Let's have COMPULSORY IQ TESTSs for people who want to have dogs!


Look at this dog. Does it look well? Is it hale and hearty? OF COURSE NOT! It has overly big gunky eyes and teeth that Satan would be proud of. It also bit me once, but that's not the point. It is one of those breeds that get sick easily because they are bred to be small and cute with unnaturally big eyes. These dogs end up with breathing problems, joint problems, spinal problems - you name it, they suffer from it, all because STUPID humans treat them like TOYS rather than animals. I would be lying if I said there was anything awesome about this particular dog. But there is something; it has AMAZINGLY sharp teeth!!!


This is Taffy. He is MAGNIFICENT because he has orange fur yet can carry off a red bandana. He would look great in a plastic bag bandana! The MANIACS who dumped Taffy should be exposed to ridicule and shame on some frivolous reality show.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

An AWESOME cocker

This is Tarzan, my FAVOURITIST doggeh of all time at the rescue, now adopted by two FINE specimens of humanity. Look at those brown eyes and beautiful reddish-brown coat and the way he is master of his green doggy bed! The people who abandoned Tarzan should be either very slowly eaten by mutant bees or made to watch Oprah Winfrey EVERY WAKING HOUR for the rest of their lives. I cannot decide which is worse.

Latest dumped doggeh goes on lusty rampage

This is Storm. Dogs react in different ways to being dumped. Storm decided to go on a lusty rampage trying to have his way with every dog (male or female) within reach before finally deciding that he was in love with a volunteer's leg. DOGS ARE AWESOME because they ENTERTAIN us with their brilliantly bawdy antics. Thanks Storm!

Top 5 true RUBBISH reasons given for abandoning a dog

These are reasons I have come across in the past few months alone for people dumping LOVELY DOGGEHS:

1. "We didn't know dogs need taking for walks. It is inconvenient." (MORON ALERT!!!)
2. "It grew." (MORON'S CLONE)
3. "We don't need it any more." (SELFISH SCUMBAGS and what on earth did they mean by 'need'?????)
4. "I don't really want it anymore. Anyway, it should be glad we gave it 5 months of a loving home." (O.K., that was said about a cat but the point remains - animals are NEVER glad to have had time in your home if you then DUMP them into a new bewildering environment. In fact, they are less likely to be adopted by someone else as they are either over the uber-cute puppy / kitten stage so less desirable, or so MESSED UP by being abandoned that they have abandonment anxiety disorder, AKA M.O.A.N. disorder - My Owners Are Numbskulls. FOOL!)
5. "It barks." (Yes, FOOL 2, it is a dog, that's what they do if they are left alone all day in a tiny HK apartment with nothing to do. DUH.)

What am I ranting about?

A good old rant can do wonders. It can help relieve pent up anger and frustration without a person resorting to actual physical violence. I can rant about pretty much anything but mainly I want to RANT about the INCREDIBLY DUMB PEOPLE who abandon their dogs for STUPID REASONS* which makes me want to punch them on the nose and generally drop kick any part of their bodies my foot can get at. However, apart from that I also want to RAVE about the AWESOME DOGS I work with, because and't always quite enough to satisfy my cravings for cute canines and felines, and besides, blogs should be happy places full of "joy and joyness".

*the only acceptable reason would be that the owner is in hospital and/or physically incapacitated and has callous 'friends' and relatives who won't take their pooch in.